How To Stop Worrying And Start Living - By Dale Carnegie

I have recently completed reading one of the International Bestseller by Dale Carnegie 'How to Stop Worrying & Start Living'. The book is one of the most effective in providing best advices and practical ways to do what it says i.e. to make people stop worrying and start living their life to their best. During my study, I have listed various points from the book in my diary, which has been provided as the summary of the book hereunder.

You will get summarized idea of the book and various methods or ways the writer has suggested to stop worrying. However, for the complete understanding and benefit, it is advised to read the whole book.

 

Rating:  9.5/10

 

Summary

Summary in a sentence, the book wants the reader to stop worrying by following the steps or taking actions mentioned in it. 

The book compiles many examples of different individuals, reach, poor, renowned or non-renowned, who performed such acts which eventually resulted in reducing their worries and lead them to live a better life.

Here are the best ways to reduce worry or how worry would affect an individual as per the book.

Live for today. You shall not transfer effects of yesterday or shall not bring backward the effects of tomorrow to today. So, what happens today ends today. The book has called this as Living in Day- Tight Compartments.  So, live in present. No past or future should bother you at the present.

Magic formula for solving worry situations. This involves 3 steps to be followed.

Step I. Analyze the situation and identify the worst that could happen as the result of failure

Step II. After figuring out the worst that could possibly happen, reconcile yourself accepting it.

Step III. From that time on, calmly devote your time trying to improve the worst which you had accepted already.

Worrying directly affects your mental health. Eventually, this will lead to physical problems as well. In the book, the writer has presented various true-life examples of different individuals who got sick or even died due to excessive worrying.

Analyzing and solving worry problems

• Get the facts (while collecting facts presume that you are collecting facts for someone else, or you are a lawyer preparing to argue the other side of the issue)
• Analyze the fact
• Arrive at a decision- and then act on that decision.

Galen Litchfield's technique to solve worry problem: Ask yourself and answer following questions:

Q.NO.1: What am I worrying about?

Q.NO.2: What can I do about it?

Q.NO.3: Here is what I am going to do about it.

Q.No.4: When am I going to start doing it?

Eliminating Business Worries: Apply following question to your business problems:

Q.NO.1: What is the problem?

Q.NO.2: What is the cause of the problem?

Q.NO.3: What are all possible solutions to the problem?

Q.No.4: When am I going to start doing it?

The writer quotes that, a businessperson can eliminate 50% of his worries relating to the business simply by applying above question sets.

To break worry habit, you should Keep Yourself Busy, not allowing much time for worrying i.e. no time for overthinking shall be allotted to yourself having a busy schedule.

Also, you should not allow little things to upset yourself. Life is too short to be little.

Similarly, to break worry habit, which is mostly about a future situation that might or might not occur, it has been advised that you should examine the record or ask yourself about the changes, according to the law of averages, that the event you are worrying about will ever occur. The conclusion is; most of the things we worry about have lower chances of occurring and not worth worrying at the present.

To make worry less harmful, it has been advocated that the individual should cooperate with the inevitable. The book reflects the astonishment of how quickly one can accept almost any situation if they have to, and adjust themselves about it and forget about it. Some of the famous sayings regarding this, quoted in the book are: "It is so. It cannot be otherwise"-A Flemish Inscription; "Teach me neither to cry for the moon nor over spilt milk"- Words hanging on the wall of Buckingham Palace.

Don't try to saw sawdust. This is one of the best advices the book has provided. In connection with our life, the sawdust is like our past. Many people tend to get back on their past. They think back of their sad moments, regretting and worrying those moments that are over and done with. When you are doing this, you are merely trying to saw sawdust. And if you are doing it in some portions of your life, I tell you, you will never find happiness but instead you will live in a life full of worries and regrets. Don't be   a prisoner of your past! 

Eight words to transform you life: Our life is what our thoughts make it. So, it is up to yourself to design or live the life. The mind it its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven. So, you should think for your betterment and work for that. Happiness is from within; it is not matter of externals. Thus, one needs to think and act cheerfully, and the person will feel cheerful.

An individual should understand the cost he/she may have to bear due to worrying. It means you should not get angry at unnecessary things and also, shall not be angry for long. Jesus said, "Love your enemies". Also, there is a old saying that a man is a fool who can't be angry, but a man is wise who won't be angry. Thus, being wise or controlling anger reduces a lots of worries that a person can have.

Instead of worrying about ingratitude, the writer wants us to expect it. Only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude, but to give for the joy of giving.

Count your blessings, not your troubles. If you don't have shoes to wear, remember that someone don't even have legs to walk.

No matter what happens, always be yourself. Find yourself and be yourself as there is no one else on earth like you. No one should imitate others.

If you have a lemonade, make a lemon. You need to have a way to look at the things from positive side.  Two men looking out of the prison bars, one saw the mud and the other saw the stars. So, find what is good in your present situation.  The book quotes a wonderful  saying by William Bolitho, "The most important thing in life is not to capitalize on your gains. Any fool can do that. The really important thing is to profit from your losses. That requires intelligence; and it makes the difference between a man of sense and a fool.

How to cure Melancholy in Fourteen Days?  Forget Yourself by becoming interested in others.  Do everyday a good deed  that will put a smile of joy  on someone's face.

Perfect way to conquer worry:

Pray- Praying helps us to put into words exactly what is troubling us. It gives us a sense of sharing our burdens of not being alone and puts into force an active  principle of doing. It is a first step toward action.

Keep yourself worrying from criticism – How to do that? Remembering that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. Remembering that no one ever kicks a dead dog. So, if they are criticizing you, you must have ran further and ahead of them. Or, Do this and criticism won't hurt you. Do the very best you can; and then put up your old umbrella and keep the rain of criticism from running down the back of your neck. Further, keep a record of fool things you have done and criticize yourself. Since, no one can be perfect; give yourself an unbiased, helpful and constructive criticism.

Six Ways to Prevent Fatigue and worry  and keep your energy and spirits high

Take frequent rests- Rest before you get tired. This way, you will add an extra one working hour to your day. This will help in preventing fatigue which eventually results in less worry.

Learn to Relax- Relaxation is the best way you can stop getting tired. Learn to relax while you are doing your work.

Meditate, plan your days ahead in the morning or the day before.

Four Good Working Habits to Prevent Fatigue and Worry: Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the Immediate Problem at hand; Do things in order of their importance; When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make a decision. Don't keep putting off decisions; and, Learn to Organize, Deputize and Supervise.

Banish the Boredom- By thinking the right thoughts, you can make any job less distasteful. So, find the job that interests you.

Keep from worrying about Insomnia- Get up and work if you can't get to sleep. Remember that no one was ever killed by lack of sleep. Try praying and relaxing your body while sleeping. And the most important one, exercise, make your body tired so that it can go to sleep itself.

How to find a work in which you may be happy and successful ?

The most important decision of your life is about your career choice. As success and happiness directly affects the worrying habit of people, one should take this decision wisely. The book has suggested various ways how one can find the work or career for him/her.

How to Lessen you financial worries?

Seventy percent of all worries are relating to finance and money. So, if you lessen the financial worries, you will be left with almost no worries. How to lessen them?

Rule 1. Get the facts down on a paper.

Rule 2. Get a tailor-made budget that really fits your needs.

Rule 3. Learn how to spend wisely.

Rule 4. Don't increase your headache with your income.

Rule 5. Try to build credit, in the event you must burrow.

Rule 6. Protect yourself against illness, fire and emergency expenses.

Rule 7. Do not have your life-insurance proceeds paid to your widow in cash.

Rule 8. Tech your children a responsible attitude towards money.

Rule 9. If necessary, make a little extra money off your kitchen stove.

Rule 10. Don't gamble- ever.

Rule 11. If we can't possibly improve  our financial situation, let's be good to ourselves  and stop resenting what can't be changed.

 

This was the summary of 7 chapters parts in the book talking about different causes of worry and methods of worrying less. Further, there have been provided additional 32 stories of various individuals who conquered worry using various methods. They are worth to be read once.

That is all for this book. Completing this book has brought many positive changes in me individually and recommend to every individual out there.